Future Perfect
by FinalAvenue
Summary: Stella's POV post episode 'Past Imperfect' season 3. Grappling with her HIV status and other issues from the episode. Hints of Smacked.


A/N: This oneshot takes place immediately following the events of the Season 3 episode 'Past Imperfect'. Enjoy!

* * *

Stella sat staring blankly at her computer screen. The day had been a rough one for everyone. Emotions and tensions had been running high throughout the lab. The pressure of the Dobson case had been weighing heavily on everyone's shoulders. Sighing deeply, Stella leaned back slowly in her chair until a satisfying crack resounded from her back. Her shoulders felt like the weight of the world had been resting on them, like the Greek god Atlas. More like the weight of her future. Her negative HIV test result had once again allowed her to plan a future.

Negative. HIV negative. Stella was still recovering from the test result. The seconds had passed agonizingly slow as she awaited Adam to read the results of the PCR test. She had not missed the nervousness in his features, his eyes darting back and forth from sample to friend. Her brain had been carefully constructing answers when Adam cautiously reported she was negative. Stella had needed to hear it a second time-she had been so sure it would be positive. That her life would be changed, that yet another huge speed bump would present itself. Stella's life path had been nothing except rocky.

Turning her gaze into the corridor, which was now mostly deserted, Stella looked in the direction of Mac's office. His door was just visible from her vantage point. Her plan was to wait for him to return to the lab. She had tried to talk to him already but the conversation had been short and clipped. Flack's words still resonated through her brain, Clay Dobson's dead. The detective had called to give her a head's up on the situation as she had been helping get Dobson's victim loaded into the ambulance. Her screams had penetrated the air, the distraught young woman unable to see that she was finally safe. Stella's thoughts drifted for a moment to the young woman's mother, her total belief her daughter was alive. An hypothesis Stella had been more than happy to prove true.

"_Stell, I wanted to give you a head's up. Clay Dobson's dead. Fell off a building, cuffed I might add," Flack stated into the phone. His voice was strained. Stella swallowed hard, focusing her attention away from the ambulance and onto the conversation. A sudden sick feeling took up residence in her stomach._

_"Flack tell me that Mac was not on the roof with that creep? Or that someone else was at least present to witness it?" Stella asked desperately. She knew that Dobson had it in for Mac and he would pin whatever he could to her partner. A long pause permeated the dead air of the phone._

_"Afraid not Stell," Flack sighed. "This doesn't look good. I have already been on the phone with the chief, twice. He has ordered him to his office pronto," the younger man knew that would be an unpleasant conversation._

_"Flack, tell Mac to call me," Stella ordered, looking up at the afternoon sky, wishing that the situation would magically correct itself._

_"Right," the younger man replied quickly, hanging up the phone. It took a minute for Stella to realize that Flack had hung up, leaving her listening to static. Closing her phone, she closed her eyes and silently prayed that the son of a bitch Dobson would not be the highlight of her partner's long and illustrious career._

"Stella?" the nervous voice asked questioningly. Pulling the woman from her thoughts, Stella looked up meeting Lindsay's uneasy gaze. The younger woman's wavy hair spilled haphazardly around her face, the sparkle that had taken up residence there in the last few weeks was dimmed this evening. Stella tried to pull a small smile for Lindsay's sake but her heart was not in it. Despite her own good news, the one person she wanted to share it with was currently being grilled by the chief of police.

"Lindsay," Stella stated in greeting. The younger woman entered their shared office space, crossing to her desk that sat opposite Stella's. Sitting heavily on her chair, she gave Stella a worried expression.

"What is going to happen to Mac?" she asked, sitting forward while her fingers danced on the desktop. It was obvious she understood that if the IAB or the higher ups decided not to believe Mac's side of the story, his career was finished. His spotless and decorated record forever shadowed by the act of a serial killer with an agenda.

Stella shook her head slowly, shrugging her shoulders. "That is for IAB to decide," Stella replied, watching as her comment made Lindsay's shoulders droop further. Feeling guilty for her dismal attitude, she added, "We both know that Mac is a good cop. They will see his side of the story." Stella made sure her words were said with conviction. With Mac gone, she was the senior team member. She had to keep the rest of them together, be the rock she normally was.

Lindsay did not seem too convinced at her comment but knew that the power of positive thinking was important.

"Right," Lindsay replied bleakly. Rising from her chair, she grabbed her jean jacket that rested on her desk. "The guys and I are going to O'Malley's to let off some steam. Wanna come?" Lindsay asked, pausing at the door and giving Stella a pleading look.

"Guys or Guy?" Stella asked, changing the subject. A slight reddish tinge then colored Lindsay's cheeks. She looked like she wanted to crawl inside something. It had not escaped her attention that since the trial, much of the younger woman's time had been spent with a certain blue-eyed Staten Island native. Stella was a smart girl; she could put the two together.

"Guys, plural thank you," Lindsay corrected. The fact that Danny was going to be there was an added bonus. Stella shook her head in response, a sad look in her features.

"I am waiting for Mac." Lindsay understood. Mac would do the same for her.

"Congratulations by way," Lindsay then announced with a smile, "Negative! That is great," Lindsay stated, stepping up and giving her friend a heartfelt hug. Stella felt her eyes moisten as Lindsay squeezed harder than usual, prolonging the hug. With one final squeeze they parted, Lindsay stepping back slightly. Stella could see her eyes sparkling as well.

Looking down at her hands for a moment, Lindsay then brought her gaze to meet Stella's. "I am glad everything is all right because... my nerves are almost shot," she stated lightly, watching her friend carefully; it was obvious the news had not completely sunk in. Lindsay knew Stella had been through so much already, the thought of her enduring the diagnosis of HIV had been heartbreaking.

The older woman smiled somewhat. Lindsay had been dancing on eggshells around her since her news was made public to the team. The younger woman had been a fantastic support over the last few weeks, Stella wondering if perhaps it had also been a way to help forget about the trial. Lindsay had not said much about it since returning from Montana.

"Thanks Kiddo," Stella's voice was husky in answer, emotion welling beneath her words. She smiled genuinely pleased. Stella had learned once again why she considered her team family over the last few weeks. Everyone had continued business as usual, knowing Stella did not want things changed because of her but each had offered their support in subtle ways. It had helped more than they knew.

Lindsay nodded, smiling meekly before turning and leaving their office. Stella listened to the sound of her shoes as she disappeared down the hall. Stella looked around her office; she was once again left alone with her thoughts.

Stella thought back to her too short phone call with Mac several hours earlier. It had been when he was on his way to see the chief. Stella could tell by the strain in his normally cool tone that he was worried about the outcome of all this and that he was angry. Angry that Dobson had been in a position to be able to smear Mac's good name--to be able to attempt to tarnish his reputation.

"_Taylor," Mac's clipped tone answered, one ring barely sounding on his phone. Stella's words stumbled to his ears, her mind unprepared for his quick answer._

_"Mac, are you okay?" Stella asked after a few seconds. Her concern was obvious and Mac knew it would take some firm words from him to discourage his partner from following him to the Chief's office. Mac sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He felt Flack look at him sympathetically from the driver seat but Mac ignored him. The former marine did not want Stella involved; he did not want to give Sinclair ammunition against Stella. His partner who would fight tooth and nail against anyone who tried to believe a lying, two-faced son-of-bitch murderer over him._

_Mac realized his fist was balled and he unclenched it. Taking a breath, he replied with what he hoped was a reassuring tone._

_"I am fine Stella. Flack is taking me to Sinclair's office," Mac indicated, silence enveloping the phone for a few seconds._

_"I am coming down there," Stella then stated forcefully, Mac could hear the stubborn indignation in her voice, the tone that was challenging him to say no. Mac sighed, rubbing his hand through his short hair tiredly. Unfortunately, he had little patience to work at convincing Stella to stay where she was._

_"Stella...," Mac replied, his deep voice sombre. His confrontation with Clay Dobson had drained his body. What had been worse was leaving the building, all the cops giving him sympathetic looks. They all thought he had crossed the line, that Dobson had gotten to him and he had retaliated. Mac shook his head, trying to wash away Dobson's smug smile as he had launched himself off the building._

_"Mac?" Stella's worried voice called, jarring him from his memory._

_"Sorry Stella," Mac quickly stated," Stay at the lab. I am going to talk to the chief and then I will talk to you tomorrow," silence again followed. Mac was able to tell from her lack of immediate response that she was not happy with his answer. Sensing that she was about lay into him again, Mac quickly added, "Stella, I can't do this now," he paused, his response mostly accurate. The slightly pleading tone to his voice he hoped would be enough to dissuade her from protesting. "I will talk to you later."_

_"Okay Mac," Stella replied after her own pause. She knew that her partner was trying to protect her, that Mac did not want her involved. Deep down, Stella understood that but it did not make saying yes any easier. She did it only because in the end, she knew that was what he really wanted. "This will work out Mac. It will," she affirmed, sensing his doubt._

_"Good night Stella," Mac replied simply before hanging up._

_Stella closed her phone angrily. Damn Clay Dobson for dying--damn Mac for letting Dobson put himself in that situation, for running off without them...without her. In addition, damn the chief because she knew Sinclair would not give Mac his support._

Stella's fist pounded frustrated on her desk, the thud of the wood resounding in the empty office. The blinking indicator cursor in the word processing program she had running seemed to taunt her, the blank page attesting to her lack of progress on her case report. Sighing, she took a sip of her coffee scrunching her nose in disgust when she realized it was cold. Apparently, she had been lost in thought for a while. Her coffee had been hot when she had sat down at her desk.

"You know that tastes better when it's hot," a familiar voice jested, Stella's head turning quickly up to meet her guest, trying to hide the disappointment at knowing it was not who she wanted to see. Giving Sheldon a half-hearted smile, she sat her coffee cup down on her desk.

"I got absorbed in my work," Stella lied, Sheldon's brow rising slightly at her remark.

"You do realize that I can see your blank screen? And I have been watching you staring at said blank screen since Lindsay left," Hawkes pointed out, the corner of his lips rising in a sly smile. A frown appeared on Stella's face. A glare was aimed his way as she responded.

"Hawkes, were you spying on me?" Stella asked, her voice completely serious. Sheldon knew that despite the fact that Stella thought she was able to handle everything on her own, he knew that the whole Dobson thing with Mac and her HIV test results made today a big day for her. Her usual debrief partner was unfortunately part of the cause of her worry this evening. Enter Doctor Sheldon Hawkes, the man with a death wish trying to help miss total denial.

Deciding to take the totally cavalier and laid-back response, he shrugged his shoulders. "I knew you had a big day, finding out you were negative and all," Hawkes supplied, using his hand to indicate to her, "Congratulations by the way. I am very happy for you." Sheldon leaned down, carefully pulling his colleague in for a hug. Stella's glare slowly replaced with a smile, her arms wrapping around the younger man's shoulders thankfully, squeezing him tightly for a moment before letting go.

"Thanks," Stella replied, swallowing away a wave of emotion that continued to rise whenever she thought of how close she came to living with a chronic illness—an eventually terminal illness. Sheldon's hand found her shoulder, squeezing for reassurance before stepping back. He did not want to overwhelm her.

His curly haired superior gave him a thankful smile before replacing it with a playful glare once again. "Do not think that excuses the spying...," Stella warned, pointing a finger at him. Sheldon held his arms up in surrender.

"I also knew that this whole thing with Mac is hard. We know him man; we know he would _never_ shove Dobson off that roof. He obviously jumped trying to get revenge at Mac," Sheldon shook his head, rubbing his neck absently while trying to push away the tension that had taken up residence there. "Any two bit jury could come to that conclusion. Dobson had it out for Mac, ever since he was released after Truby went to jail," the younger man's voice dropped off.

He knew that. Stella knew that. Would the IAB figure that out? That was what had both of them worried.

"Hawkes, Mac will not rest until his name is fully cleared and neither will I. Dobson will not tarnish his name," Stella stated fervently, her bright green eyes conveying her own conviction in those words. Hawkes' deep brown eyes connected with hers, a smile forming on his lips.

"I suppose you are waiting around for Mac then?" He asked, glancing at his watch. It was nearly ten thirty at present, Sheldon knew that Stella would wait around all night if she had too. His colleague nodded simply, no words needed to convey why it was that way. "What if he does not come back here?" he asked. A sad smile adorning Stella's Greek features.

"This is like Mac's home," Stella replied half jokingly, "Besides...he will be too wound up to go home yet," she indicated. Understanding lit up Hawkes face, coming to agree with her assessment.

"Right," Sheldon stated, returning to the doorjamb. "I am meeting Lindsay, Danny and Adam at O'Malley's if you want to stop by," he supplied, already sensing that Stella was not going to be joining them.

"Enjoy Sheldon. See you tomorrow," Stella answered, ignoring his offer. She knew the younger man already knew her answer. With a quick wave, Sheldon exited her office gracefully and headed down the hall. Stella strained her neck to see Mac's office, hoping he had somehow managed to slip by her. His empty chair greeted her.

Sighing, Stella rose from her chair and headed to their lounge. Grabbing her mug, she decided a new coffee was definitely in order.

Making her way slowly through the corridors, Stella greeted the night staff crewmembers she encountered. For most of them, she knew their names and positions; she prided herself on knowing many of the people they worked with. None of them questioned her presence, it was not the first time she had stayed late into the night. Stella was thankful that when she arrived in the lounge, it remained deserted.

As she waited for the coffee pot to boil, Stella leaned against the counter for support. Her body was tired and as much as it cried for sleep, Stella was unwilling to succumb to its demands yet. She needed to make sure Mac was okay, that he would actually go home himself. Stella did not kid herself into thinking that he would talk about what happened. That would come but not tonight. Mac Taylor needed time...plenty of time to digest and analyze, go through things repeatedly. Then perhaps he could discuss it. Stella knew from experience, forcing him to alter that sequence of events resulted in a fight.

The whistling of the teapot forced Stella to return her attention to coffee. Turning to face the counter, she mindlessly created a cup of coffee, its aroma bringing her senses a much-needed lift. Stella brought the steaming mug to her lips, savouring the first sip of the not bad coffee. Holding it close to her, she let the heat from the small mug seep into her body.

"Is there enough for one more?" His deep voice filled the lounge, his stress evident without her seeing him. Stella turned to meet her friend with a worried expression marring her features. Mac's eyebrow was raised, awaiting her response. Despite the circumstances, he was trying to present a light hearted mood. Trying not to let the anger that was bubbling inside him lash out at his partner, who was attempting to help.

"Of course," Stella indicated, pulling another mug out of the cabinet. She filled it and handed it off to him, Mac smiling appreciatively.

"Thank you," Mac took a sip, his features giving away his own relief at having a fair cup of coffee. Content to rest the cup in his hand for the moment, he watched as Stella looked expectantly at him. Her piercing green eyes were assessing him, trying desperately to determine his status. "Listen, I know you waited here for me," Mac began, his eyes remaining in contact with Stella's, "I appreciate that. You know I would do the same for you," Stella's head nodded in response to his statement. Mac paused for a moment, trying to decide how best to put together his feelings. Seeing he was struggling, Stella interrupted him.

"Mac, its fine. I know...I know you need time. I think by now we know each other's song and dance," Stella stated a little annoyed. "I am here so you are not alone. So you understand that I am here when you are ready to talk about it," Stella took a sip of her coffee, once again leaning on the counter.

A surprised look crossed his features for a moment before being replaced with a genuine smile.

"I am glad you know me so well," he replied mockingly. Mac could have been angry at her response but he decided he had been angry enough today. Dobson had made sure of that. His smile slowly vanished at that thought.

"Mac, I need to ask you one question," Stella stated, straightening and looking him in the eye. "Why did you not wait for backup? Why did you not take Don or me with you? We were _right_ there," I was right there, she thought begrudgingly. Stella's voice held a slightly hurt tone; Mac could pick it up almost immediately. He knew in her eyes, him refusing her backup was a slap in the face. A sign that he did not trust her when in fact; it was the total opposite. Mac trusted Stella with his life.

"Stella...," Mac's voice drifted off, unable to answer her question. In truth, he had been asking himself that question all evening. Why had he gone off half-cocked, like some young rookie? It was something that he had criticized Danny for doing on different occasions, listening to his emotions instead of letting the evidence do the talking. He had broken one of his own rules.

Mac lifted his gaze to Stella's face, finding her watching him expectantly. She wanted an answer, to know why he had not let her in. It was not as if Stella was unable to identify with him, she had come to him many times with her emotions pushing her in one direction but he managed to talk her into following the evidence, the right direction. Mac could see in his partner's face the unasked question of why he had not sought out her counsel.

Stella gave him a look, taking a sip of her coffee, encouraging him to continue. She was trying to be patient but she really wanted to know Mac's reasoning-- wanted to know if he had lost faith in her.

"Stella," he began again, rubbing his free hand through his hair, "I'm not sure why I left. I saw Dobson's victim and all I could think about was stopping him," Mac paused, clenching his jaw in thought for a moment. "I could not let him get away with murder again; I wanted him back in prison," Mac supplied, a frown adorning his features and his gaze going far away. Immediately knowing where his line of thinking was headed, Stella interrupted.

"Mac, Dobson getting out of prison is not your fault. Truby was dirty and you brought him down- the cases that were dismissed because of him do not rest on your shoulders," Stella looked at him poignantly, daring him to contradict her. Mac shook his head, setting his forgotten coffee on the counter.

"Stella, I know that it was a good take down. I stand behind my decision to bring Truby in. Dobson getting out of prison...on a technicality like that, that was a let down to me. A let down of the justice system I work so hard to enforce and protect. I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure that Clay Dobson returned to prison," Mac confessed.

Silence then surrounded them. The lounge resounded with the hum of the fridge and the influx of background noise from the lab. They remained staring at each other, the conversation sinking in. Stella broke the silence first. With a small reassuring smile, she reached out and squeezed her friend's shoulder.

"Mac, you know that I have your back right...no matter what?"Stella asked, searching his face to find understanding. Mac nodded slowly. "Mac, you have helped me get through so much. You have to know by now that my faith in your ability to make things right is near god-like," Stella added emphasizing her words slightly. A small chuckle cracked the void that had been forced between them. His partner stepped closer, closing the gap that linked them, forcing herself back into his space. She was trying to tell him not to push her away.

"I know Stella," Mac answered. "I trust you with my life. I would have it no other way," the words were quiet, Mac swallowing hard after they were forced out of his mouth. _There, he had said it- he thought ruefully._ The former marine knew that his partner needed to hear those words. That he still held his faith in her. He still needed her.

A large playful smile then dominated her features. The energy that had been zapped away by her HIV scare seemed to have returned. The small smile that had been about to peak on Mac's face disappeared. Her HIV status—he remembered Adam telling him she was negative...hours ago. He had been so wrapped up in the Dobson case he had not even congratulated her.

Seeing the immediate change in his expression, Stella looked at him concerned.

"Mac, you okay?" Stella asked, watching him closely.

"No. I completely forgot about your good news," Mac replied, reaching out with his hand and placing it on her shoulder. "Adam told me your results came back negative. I am sorry I never got to see how you were doing with it," Mac indicated. Stella shrugged, trying to brush off the event as an everyday occurrence.

"Stella, this is big," Mac announced as the sheepish look he held was replaced with a genuine smile. Pulling Stella into a hug, Mac squeezed his friend tightly. He allowed all the thoughts of visiting his dying partner in hospital wash away from his memory. He felt Stella's arms grab onto his neck, leaning into his body. He knew she had been waiting for this release all day, to allow herself to shed her tears of happiness.

Mac tried to push away the guilty feeling that arose in his stomach; he had been so focused on Dobson and his own situation. He had missed supporting Stella with her test results. Mac had planned to be right beside her, in case the news was bad. Mac could not imagine her receiving bad news without him there.

Finally, Stella relaxed her grip on her friend and stepped back slightly. With glistening eyes, she looked up to Mac. "Thanks," she whispered, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, her curls sticking to her slick cheeks.

Rubbing a stray tear from her cheek tenderly, Mac smiled in return. His hands cupped her face, Stella's green eyes following him, watching the caring smile form on his lips. "You're welcome." An answering smile on her face mirrored his. The stillness that seemed to surround them, cocoon them in the lounge, was broken as voices drifted to them through the lounge entrance.

The result was immediate. They broke their touch, their physical link severed. The smiles however remained. Faith had been restored in each other once again, mistakes forgiven.

"Let's celebrate," Mac then announced off handedly provoking a laugh from Stella. Her raised eyebrow silently asking him if he was serious. Mac nodded, taking her nearly full coffee cup and setting it beside his own on the counter.

"You're serious? Mac it is eleven thirty at night," Stella replied, unaccustomed to Mac being spontaneous and open to going out other than to play with his band.

"Stella, it is not every day you find out your HIV scare is officially over." Mac's logic was sound, Stella could not argue with him.

"Okay," Stella nodded her head in agreement. "O'Malley's. Everyone else is there anyways," Stella decided, already heading from the lounge to her office. Mac followed behind her. As he waited in the doorway for her to grab her coat, Stella could sense his un-ease. Stopping before him, she gave a reassuring smile.

"Mac no one with any sense will ask you about today without you initiating the conversation...," Stella stated, echoing his concern. Mac tended to agree with her, his smile turning to a grim line. "Except maybe Adam," Stella added with a smile, the young lab tech had an uncanny ability to breech every known taboo subject when it came to conversations. Mac's smile returned to his face at her comment, Adam did have a habit of 'stepping in it' figuratively. Stella headed to the elevators with Mac, his arm holding her protectively to him.

They stepped into the car, Stella watching as the door closed on the lab before them. With a smile, she reflected on her improved mood and the cause for that. Her shoulders felt a little lighter. With a satisfied sigh, Stella thought of the future, of what it could hold—for her, for Mac, for them. It was open and free for the taking, Stella liked that.


End file.
